Let Go of Other People’s Problems: 3 Reminders to Myself

If there’s one thing I’m really good at, it’s taking on other people’s problems. My motives are altruistic enough, but boy, has this propensity of mine backfired on me — many, many times.

Yet, I can’t help myself. It’s instinctual for me. You know, like Vanilla Ice — “If there was a problem, Yo, I’ll solve it.” Okay, that was a horrible joke, but the point is, I’m hardwired to solve other people’s problems. Even as I write this, I’m hoping that my words will help solve someone’s problems.

The thing is, sometimes people don’t want their problems solved. I know; it’s crazy but true. And, sometimes, I simply don’t have the energy to take on other people’s problems.

Which is why I have to repeat the following reminders to myself when I start feeling overly responsible for someone else’s life:

1. People aren’t expecting me to solve their problems. Unless of course I’ve been tasked to solve a specific problem. Otherwise, most people are way too busy trying to figure out their own problems to even notice that I haven’t stepped in to save the day. And the people who do notice are probably red flag people who I want to cut out of my life if I can.
2. I don’t have to have all the answers. I tend to be a jack-of-all-trades and an overachiever. Go figure. Which means that I also tend to spring to action to solve every problem I catch wind of, whether I have the answer or not. But, I don’t have to. Sometimes I just need to stick to what I’m good at and let people find their own answers or seek help elsewhere.

Keep scrolling to find the 3rd reminder to myself.