I Took a Break From a 20-Year Relationship:
What Happened Shocked Me
“If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.”
You’ve no doubt heard this saying before, and I imagine that when you hear it, your mind immediately jumps to setting a romantic partner free. But in the past month, I’ve come to realize that this phrase has a much broader meaning.
Of course it can be applied to other types of relationships, like those with friends or family. But, think of all the other “relationships” we have. We have relationships with food, money, Netflix, and all sorts of other things.
The 20-year relationship I took a break from was the one I had with my career, with accounting. Actually, all told, I had been focused on accounting since I was a junior in high school. From the time I was 16 until the time I was 42, I was studying or working in the accounting field.
Being an accountant became a big part of my identity, and there were times that I really enjoyed it and could honestly say, “I love my job!” But the heart is fickle, and mine seemed to change its mind in a split second.
As soon as I figured out that I wanted to create this organization, I thought, “I just can’t do this anymore. How did I do this for so long? What is going on here?” So I did it; I took a break from my relationship with accounting and quit cold turkey.
What happened several months later shocked me.
Keep scrolling to find out why.
Concluding Thoughts
I was exploring many different ways to “side hustle” while I work on building an audience. I would think about doing some accounting work, and I’d have an almost physical aversion to it. I just couldn’t accept the idea of working in accounting again unless I was in an absolute financial emergency.
But, as time went on, I started to miss accounting a bit. I absolutely love writing and creating and the freedoms that come with this life, but I missed the structure and certainty of accounting work. Only, I didn’t know I missed it. Until . . .
I was having a casual conversation with a former accounting client, and all of a sudden something dawned on me. I wanted to work with him again. Then I started thinking about other clients I might want to work with. And it hit me — I missed accounting.
This was a shock because I had been so “done” with accounting. I talked to a couple of my former clients about working together again, and I was actually excited about it. What?! My fickle heart was at it again.
Sure enough, I had set accounting free, and it had come back to me. But what had changed? What happened during that time apart?
- I set some boundaries. I am only performing the kind of work that I like to perform and only for clients who I enjoy working with.
- I changed my perspective. I now look at accounting almost like a hobby that I can make money from. It’s something that I’m very good at, it gives me a break from being creative, and it fills my need for certainty.
- I had a chance to miss it. That break has given me a newfound appreciation of both accounting and the part of me that needs accounting in her life.
What do you need to take a break from? Think about something that you’ve done for a long time that just isn’t working for you anymore or that you are starting to resent. Is it time to set it free and see if it comes back? What happens might just shock you ?
If you’re ready to Stop Settling & Start Living! check out our home page to learn more about what The Expectation Gaps has to offer.
Click here for more posts with an “intentional living” theme.
If it’s a romantic relationship you are thinking of setting free, you might find value in reading:
How to Stop Being Codependent: My Personal Journey
Or maybe you’re also thinking of setting your job free:
Spoiler Alert: Meaningful Work is Not What You Crave
Or maybe you just need to be more decisive in general:
Be Decisive: Practice This Powerful 3-Step Process
Have a FREEING day!
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