Am I With the Right Person?
3 Questions to Ask Yourself
I think we’ve all asked ourselves this question. Whether you’ve been in your relationship for a week or a decade, it’s only natural to wonder, “Is this really the right person for me?”
I started thinking about this question recently because my 16-year-old step-daughter, who is navigating her first serious relationship, asked me, “How do you know if you’re supposed to be with someone forever?” To which I answered, “You don’t. But if you think you’re with the right person, it’s worth trying. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll be just fine.” Of course there was more to the conversation, but you get the idea.
And, the thought was in my mind because I just published a post, 5 Reasons Your Personal Growth Can’t Be All About You, that discusses meeting our love/belonging needs. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t think you have to be in a romantic relationship to meet your love/belonging needs. But . . . I do think that if you’re in a romantic relationship, you need to Deliberately Think about whether or not you’re with the right person so you can meet your love/belonging needs.
Okay, enough backstory. Onto the 3 questions you can intentionally ask yourself to figure out if you’re with the right person.
- Does this person have similar priorities? – Especially when it comes to children/family, household responsibilities, money, and career. Let’s face it, these are the things that typically drive a wedge between people. That wedge can lead to resentment, and even the right person can quickly become the wrong person.
- Does this person make you feel good about yourself? Do you like who you are when you’re with them? Do they bring out the best in you or the worst you in? Even though your worst self is going to surface from time to time, the right person will bring out the best you more often than not.
Keep scrolling for the 3rd question.
Don't have time to go any further right now?
Click on the icon to email this post to yourself for later!
#3 – Does this person accept you for who you are? Now, this doesn’t mean they think you’re perfect, and, in fact, they know that you’re not. But the right person will accept you where you are. They might ask you to change your behavior if their needs aren’t being met, but at the same time, they realize that they have no control over whether you choose to change or not. And, if you’re with the right person, it will be a change you can live with.
To learn about codependent and interdependent relationships, read:
To learn about attachment styles: Can’t Find Love? You Need to Read This
Click here for more posts with a “healthy relationships” theme.
If you’re ready to Stop Settling & Start Living! check out our home page to learn more about what The Expectation Gaps has to offer.
And until next time . . . have a LOVING day!
Want to Name Your Core Values?
Not Sure Where to Start?
I would love to help you!
All you need to do is answer 5 questions, and I’ll let you know what I think your values are. We’ll communicate with each other until we get it right!
How does that sound? Don’t overthink it; just do it. What do you have to lose?
Posted Monday & Thursday
HOW THE EXPECTATION GAPS WORKS
You’re Fed Up With Mediocrity & Want to Make an Impact
You’re frustrated…overwhelmed…”crazy busy”…burned out…unfulfilled…
I'VE BEEN THERE!
I’ve been focused on becoming a Deliberate Thinker for ~10 years.
I want to help you with your journey by sharing mine.