Benefits: Discover alternative, empowering definitions of “God” and “Heaven/Hell.”
So That You Can: Love and accept yourself and start living each day with intention.
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Time to Examine Our Religious and Spiritual Beliefs
If you’ve read the posts leading up to this one, you may be wondering why I’m talking out of both sides of my mouth. Didn’t I already say that I’m not a religious person? I sure did, and I also believe in opening my heart to God — huh?
We often associate the belief in God with religion, but there is a distinction to be made. God is a being who created us, rules us, or both, depending on what you believe. Whereas religion is a system of beliefs and practices that tell people how to worship God.
So, no, I haven’t found a religion that I agree with yet, but I have not lost my belief in God. Honestly, the idea of God makes no sense to me, but the idea of no God makes no sense to me either. Leaving me with only one option — to go with my gut on this one. And my gut tells me there is a force bigger than us, which I equate to God.
What's My Beef With Religion?
I have many, and I’m guessing we’ll explore more of them at some point. But, for now, I will touch on just a couple because I believe these are expectations that keep us from opening our hearts to God. If our hearts are not open to God, we cannot realize our full potential. (Stick with me on this one.)
Beef #1 - Presumed Guilty
Coming from a Christian background, I resent being told, from day one, that I am a sinner who needs to be saved; that I’m “bad” and on my way to Hell unless I do as I’m told. This idea sets a foundation for us to create limiting beliefs about ourselves. Right out of the gate, we’re being set up to fail at life because it’s very difficult to succeed at anything if you start out thinking you are incompetent.
Picture this . . . you’re in a grocery store where you overhear a parent scolding their young child. They are saying things like, “You’re a horrible child. You always have been; you always will be. When we get home, you’re going straight to the filthy basement, and you will stay there and suffer. Unless…you get down on your knees right now and beg for my forgiveness. Oh, and you have to give me 10% of your income for the rest of your life, too. Plus, I’m going to need to dunk your head in the water a few times. And, last but not least, you need to profusely thank me several times a day. Now behave!”
First, I think most of us would be compelled to confront that parent and tell them to knock it off. Second, there’s a good chance child protective services would step in to find out what is going on in that house. Third, I can’t even imagine talking to my own child this way; can you?
So why do we accept the idea that God would treat us this way? He is our Father (i.e. parent), he supposedly loves us unconditionally, and he created us in his image. Does it really make any sense that he would psychologically abuse us? And if it does somehow make sense, why on Earth would be willing to worship anyone who treats us this way?
Are you starting to see why our spiritual growth is so stunted? Why we may not have actually opened our hearts to God. Why we don’t ask these questions of ourselves. Because we’ve been conditioned to think we are not worthy of the answers. I call bull shit!
Beef #2 - I'd Rather Day Trip Than Guilt Trip
(Thank you, Beatles!)
The whole premise of Christianity is that Christ died because of us, for our sins. To add salt to the wound, he died in one of the most horrible ways possible. We are told this over and over again. We see depictions of his suffering everywhere: huge crosses in the church, outside of the church, on our bibles, hanging from shiny chains fastened around people’s necks.
Not only that, we are taught that it is our own fault that we are sinners. If only Eve had a little more self-control maybe we wouldn’t be in this predicament. But here we are, paying for her disobedience thousands of years later.
Guy Winch, Ph.D., defines a guilt trip as, “. . . a form of verbal or nonverbal communication in which a guilt inducer tries to induce guilty feelings in a target, in an effort to control their behavior. As such, guilt trips are a clear form of psychological manipulation and coercion.”
It stands to reason that the Christian lessons I was taught are a type of guilt trip, by definition, meant to control behavior. If we can agree on that, we can agree that religion is meant to psychologically manipulate and coerce us. I deserve to be treated better than that and so do you; we all do.
Is it even possible to truly have our hearts opened to God through manipulation and coercion?
Stick with me…my message is about to take a positive turn.
I Can See Heaven in Your Eyes
(Thank you, Loverboy!)
We can argue about it all day long, but no one really knows if the god depicted by their religion exists or not. Even if there is a small population of people who do know, we would dismiss them as crazy if they tried to tell us about their experience.
We’d do better to accept the idea that our religions are fallible and adopt Brene Brown’s definition of spirituality as our religion:
“Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion.”
After all, I John 4:7-8 tells us:
“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”
Let’s combine these ideas. There is a power greater than all of us, that connects us. God is love; the power that connects us is love. So the power that connects us is God. No matter what religion you practice, if you believe in showing love and compassion to one another, you believe in God.
Now, are you sure your religion is teaching you to open your heart to love and compassion? To see Heaven in other’s eyes? Or is it teaching you to judge and condemn?
One more powerful passage to consider, from Michael A. Singer’s book, “the untethered soul,”:
“Contemplate this, and let go of the idea of a judgmental God. You have a loving God. In truth, you have love itself for a God. And love cannot do other than love. Your God is in ecstasy and there’s nothing you can do about it. And if God is in ecstasy, I wonder what He sees when He looks at you?”
KISS
Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS) is a design principle that suggests systems perform best when they have a simple, not complex, design.
God is love. Simple.
God sent two people to a garden; one of them disobeyed; that action made us all sinners; a ton of other stuff happened; God sent his son to Earth; his son tried to show us the way; his fate was to die for our sins; he died; he rose; now he can save us; but we have to follow a ton of rules and ceremonies first. Way too complex!
These ideas make for a good story but not a well designed system. Since God is a master designer, it seems like he would have made finding our way to salvation as simple as possible. I feel like he’s wherever he is yelling, “KISS! KISS! For crying out loud, KISS PEOPLE!”
Unfortunately, we tend to search for answers and certainty, and, in the process, we complicate things. That may be our greatest sin. Our brains struggle to have faith in the intangible idea that God is love. It is easier to hitch our wagon to our tangible savior, Jesus.
Plus, that takes some of the pressure off of us, right? We aren’t as accountable for our actions because we are expected to be sinners, we are expected to ask for forgiveness, and we expect that this forgiveness will get us where we want to be.
If we are willing to accept the idea that God is love, that means we can only find God by showing love and compassion to others. Opening our hearts. Not only is that very hard to do, we are the only ones who can be held accountable for it. We can’t place the blame on anyone else and expect them to save us.
So, we make things complicated instead. It is, after all, the human way ?
Oooo, Heaven is a Place on Earth
(Thank you, Belinda Carlisle!)
I don’t believe in an afterlife. It seems to make sense that our energy would carry on somehow, but I don’t believe we go to Heaven or Hell when we die. I believe we’re already there, and that’s what Jesus was trying to teach us (KISS).
Consider this, Jesus loved and accepted himself and his fate. Because of this love of self, he was able to show unconditional love to others. He did not fear the judgment of others. He took life as it came and did his best to spread love while he was here. He experienced setbacks but took them in stride because he knew what his purpose was. He lived into his purpose, realized it, and was granted eternal life, i.e. Heaven.
I think we get to Heaven in much the same way. If we find a way to open our hearts and live life the way that Jesus did, we will be in Heaven, right now.
According to John 17:22-23, in Jesus’ prayer to God prior to his capture, he said:
“And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.”
I interpret this to mean, Jesus carried the “glory” of God with him while he was here — love and compassion — and Jesus was here to give this “glory” to us all. He tried to show us that we are one with God, and if we are all one with God, we are all one with each other. Doesn’t that equal Heaven?
We can create Heaven right here; or we can create Hell. It’s up to each of us to decide which one we are willing to work toward. It’s not up to anyone else but you.
Have you ever started your day thinking that it was just going to totally suck? And did it suck? Yep. Now, pretend the next day was the same in all material respects except you woke up thinking you were going to have a great day. Did you have a great day? Yep. Nothing changed except the lens you chose to see the world through that day.
Then why can’t we create our own Heaven on Earth in very much the same way? Although I don’t pray, I think this is the purpose that prayer serves for many people. It changes our mindsets, the way we are filtering information, and we manifest whatever it is we are praying for.
Back to the Question at Hand
Have you opened your heart to God by loving and accepting yourself? Probably not, or at least not 100%. It seems to me this is a lifelong process; something that we will continue to work on every single day, even when the cards are stacked against us.
If you can admit that you don’t completely love and accept yourself, are you willing to start living each day with love and intention? Awesome! Examining the expectations we are willing to live by will help us get there.
We each have a unique spark of greatness within us. Whether you believe it was put there by God or not, I believe it is there. And the whole purpose of life is to figure out what that greatness is and run with it, use it to the best of our abilities each and every day. That is Heaven!
If you believe that you are God’s creation, isn’t it the ultimate sin to waste the gifts he has given you?
What do you agree with? What do you disagree with? What else do I need to know? What else should I write about? Let me know in the comments. Seriously!
I am sharing my experiences, but we can grow so much love and compassion by sharing our experiences with each other. We can put more God into the world!
Only Have 1 Minute
Links
“7 Ways to Get Out of Guilt Trips,” Guy Winch Ph.D., Psychology Today, 5.16.13
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bookmarked!!, I like your site!
Thank you! I’m always open to suggestions to make your experience the best it can be.