Follow up post to,
“Challenge Your Religion – 4 Powerful Questions“
Benefits: Not only will you have a better understanding of your own religious beliefs, you will become more empathetic toward others with differing views.
So That You Can: Respect other points of view, which is part of the cycle of deliberate thinking that will lead to connection, belonging, authenticity, and the realization of your potential.
Hopefully, you’ve had some time to sit with one or all of the questions I posed in the “4 Powerful Questions” post (link above). My intention is not to persuade you to think like me; my intention is to encourage you to think for yourself. Through this process, we will become more empathetic toward others with differing views.
Doesn’t seem like much of an introduction is needed for this post. So without further ado, let’s get into it.
#1 Are these religious beliefs even mine?
I would say the answer is no, the beliefs are not yours if you:
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- Practice the same religion as your parents and have never questioned why.
- Have gone to the same (or a very similar) church your whole life, again, never questioning why.
- Go to church out of habit or out of a feeling of obligation. It’s just something you’ve always done.
- Are afraid to question your beliefs because you will be ridiculed, or maybe even outcast, by your family or religious community.
- Cannot entertain anyone else’s religious beliefs without becoming defensive.
- Have found yourself saying, “I don’t know why I believe; I just know that what I believe is true.”
This doesn’t mean that you don’t have faith. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something “wrong.” It just means you haven’t allowed yourself to sit quietly and consider your beliefs. You have not taken ownership of them.
This is a completely natural phenomenon. It goes back to the concept of mimicry that I introduced in the 4 Powerful Questions post. Social psychologists have found that, from an evolutionary perspective, we mimic people to create affiliation and rapport with them. Accordingly, mimicry is the foundation of many relationships. We are more likely to befriend someone who is like us. Again, it’s only natural.
It stands to reason, then, that we would mimic the religious beliefs of our parents and the people we are closest to. It is basically a survival mechanism. We mimic people so they will like and accept us. In turn, they will let us be a part of their group, which means we will be protected and survive.
What better way to be protected and survive than to be accepted by a religious group. After all, they are the ones who point the way to Heaven for us. Eternal life, that is the epitome of survival.
Plus, we feel a bit of protection from the endless unknowns in life. We feel a bit of certainty in the belief that God has a plan for us.
Maybe there is a Heaven. Maybe God does have a plan for us. I don’t know. What I do know is that we won’t be able to reach our full potential in this life unless we own our religious beliefs.
If we don’t own our religious beliefs, we will constantly be judging ourselves, our worth, through someone else’s lens. Our self-images will be based on someone else’s expectations. We will never reach the sense of belonging required to realize our full potential.
#2 Why do I believe in Jesus any more than I do Santa Clause?
Ouch! This question is pretty harsh. Yes, it is, but questions need to be harsh, i.e. challenging, in order for them to inspire growth. There is no ill intent behind this question. I am not attacking you, and, if you feel like I am, maybe that is a sign that you really need to answer this question. You may not be as secure in your beliefs as you think.
One day, our parents will look us straight in the eye and tell us that they are Santa Clause. We believe them and move on with life. Yet, if they were to look us straight in the eye and tell us they are Jesus Christ, we would have them committed to a mental hospital. Seems a bit hypocritical, doesn’t it?
So why is it so much easier for us to dismiss Santa? After all, he’s a jolly old, lovable elf who brings us beautiful presents every year. True, but does he bring us the gift of eternal life? Nope! Sorry, Santa, you need to up your game a bit.
One gift we receive from our belief in Jesus (or the religious figure you worship) is the gift of hope. One of the very first Bible verses Christian children are taught, and maybe the only one I remember by heart, is John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” If that’s not hope, I don’t know what is.
Our belief in Jesus gives us another gift, too: permission to regress in times of crises. Sometimes life renders us unable to think like reasonable adults, and we want to know that it is okay to take our adult hat off for a minute.
To quote the video, “History of Ideas – Religion,” by The School of Life,
“In our worst crises, we regress. We want to be held, understood, and forgiven like we were five years old. All this religion knows, honors, and does not mock us for.”
If we tried to regress to our childhood by having a heart-to-heart with Santa, we would surely be mocked for it.
Last, but not least, we will not be damned to Hell for accepting the fact that Santa is a figment of our imaginations. We might be damned to Hell if we do not accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. It’s easier to play it safe and believe than to face the potential consequences of not believing.
Ask yourself, do I really believe in who I am worshiping? Am I 100% sure? And, if I’m not 100% sure, isn’t it okay for other people to have some doubts too? Or even other beliefs.
#3 Do I really believe the other 70% of the population is going to Hell?
I can remember this question bothering me when I was very young. Maybe only 10 or so. I went to a small (like 75 people or less small), non denominational, Christian church. I remember thinking, “That makes no sense at all,” whenever they talked about having to accept Jesus as our Savior in order to go to Heaven.
I thought, what about everyone else? People who were taught to believe in a different god? People who have never done anything really “bad” in their life. People who have done a lot of good in their life. They’re going to Hell? (Yes, I was thinking this when I was ten; I’m weird alright ?.)
And, what about people who have accepted Jesus but then go on to do horrible things? Are they still getting in? Just because they ask for forgiveness?
Why is this “Father” of ours so hell-bent on punishing us? In one breath you’re telling me that he is an all-loving god. In the next, you’re telling me he will send me to Hell simply because I didn’t accept his son? Even if I wasn’t given the opportunity?
According to a Pew Research Center article published on 12.18.08, when Christians were asked what they thought determines whether a person will achieve eternal life:
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- 29% said actions.
- 30% said beliefs.
- 10% said a combination of the two.
- 14% refused to answer.
- 17% gave an “other” response.
(I realize this study is a bit old, but it was the most reliable source I could find.)
Basically, between 40% and 60% of Christians are of the opinion that you have to believe in Jesus to go to Heaven. It’s not an overwhelming number, but it’s definitely a big enough number to see why there are such huge Expectation Gaps between us.
Another interesting statistic, among people who are affiliated with a particular religion, the belief that theirs is the only true faith rose from 20% in 2002 to 29% in 2008. I couldn’t find a reliable, current statistic, but my guess is that this percentage has risen since 2008.
Didn’t church also teach us that it is not our job to judge others? Yet, according to these statistics, there is an awful lot of judging going on in the Christian community.
We don’t have to believe what other people believe; we just have to accept the fact that we aren’t all going to believe the same things. And that is ok.
Beyond that, let’s remember, what someone else believes should have no affect on our beliefs. So why give any of our time and energy to worrying about them?
#4 Is morality dependent upon one's religious beliefs?
First, we need to be clear about how we are defining morality. Since we’re talking about religion here, from a Christian perspective, why not go straight to the source: The Ten Commandments. Here we are told that we should: respect our parents, be honest, not take or covet other people’s stuff, honor our commitments, and not kill people.
I am completely on board with living by these values/morals. I am not on board with believing that I have to be religious in order to understand that these are good rules to follow.
What purpose does religion serve in teaching us morality? It mainlines these values into our subconscious. The values are clearly outlined for us, and we hear them repeated over and over again. In this way, we learn to implement them in our daily lives a lot faster than if we had to learn these rules by trial and error.
However, I believe we are biologically wired to be moral beings, and that nature teaches us morality. In the 4 Questions post, I introduced the idea that animals are moral beings. That is the nature side. I’m not going to expand on that at this point because I find the biological side to be a lot more interesting.
I think we can all agree that — respecting our parents, being honest, not taking or coveting other people’s stuff, honoring our commitments, and not killing people — are “kind” actions. In other words, morality and kindness are interrelated. If we can agree on that, it will be easy to see how biology, in part, dictates our morality.
The following benefits of being kind have been scientifically proven:
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- Kindness stimulates the production of serotonin. Serotonin is known to not only make us feel better emotionally by reducing depression and anxiety, it actually helps our bodies heal wounds and maintain bone health. Therefore, our emotional and physical health are, in part, dependent on us being kind, i.e. moral.
- Witnessing or performing acts of kindness also stimulates the production of oxytocin. Oxytocin influences our social behavior and emotions. But even more interesting, oxytocin aids in reproduction and childbirth. Meaning that we need it to perpetuate the species. Or in other words, being kind/moral leads to reproduction. So it is in our biological best interest to be moral.
- In some cases, helping others (being kind/moral) has been found to improve our overall health more than exercising.
There is evidence to support the idea that we are moral simply because it is good for our health and overall well being, which has nothing to do with religious beliefs. Let’s keep this in mind before we question the morality of someone who practices a different religion or who chooses to be a non believer.
Have I Answered All Your Questions?
Yeah, right! I haven’t even answered all of my own questions. As I answer one, another pops up, as I’m sure you’ve noticed in reading this.
What I hope you take away from this article is the understanding that religion can give us a good foundation for examining our lives. But, it is up to each of us to take the next step and challenge our religion if we are committed to becoming our best selves.
In my next post, “Have You Opened Your Heart to God?”, I will share my current views on religion with you. I say current because they are constantly evolving and becoming more defined, just like I hope yours will.
Comment time…let me know how you would answer these questions. Poke holes in my answers. I will address those in future posts, if appropriate.
Just communicate with me. That’s the only way we can all benefit from the journey we are on — running toward our full potential.
Only Have 1 Minute
Links
Mimicry in Social Interaction , European Journal of Social Sciences – Volume
“History of Ideas – Religion,” School of Life, YouTube
“Many Americans Say Other Faiths Can Lead to Eternal Life,” Pew Research Center, 12.18.08
“Did you know there are scientifically proven benefits of being kind?” Random Acts of Kindness