Benefits: Identify some veiled privileges that you have.
So That You Can: Practice being grateful for them, which will give you a much better chance of living a fulfilling life.
Veiled Privileges to Be Grateful For
Companion post to Stop Worrying About Privilege and Be Grateful
Privilege is like bad breath. You don’t know you have it until someone points it out.
Why? Because, just like bad breath, we’re too close to our own privilege. It becomes a part of us. We become so accustomed to it that we don’t notice it, no matter how obvious it is to others.
But, just as you can try to notice your breath by breathing into your hand and taking a little test whiff, you can try to notice your privilege by stopping to Deliberately Think about it.
Deliberately Thinking about our privilege is not something we practice much, if at all. Partly because we’re unaware of our privileges and partly because doing so is too risky. If we dare speak openly about the privileges we have, we run the risk of being labeled arrogant, conceited, or bigoted.
So today, we’re going to challenge ourselves to Deliberately Think about our privileges. Not in order to place blame or guilt on anyone but to smell our own breath, as it were. To recognize the gifts we have been taking for granted even though they are right in front of our faces. After all, we can’t be grateful for things that we don’t know we have.
Why Is Being Grateful Important?
When you are consciously grateful for something, you value it and ensure that you don’t misuse it. Take your home for instance. You are grateful for it, so you decorate it, perform regular repairs and maintenance, and don’t knowingly damage it.
We can apply the same principles to our privileges. Once we become consciously grateful for them, we will value our privileges and stop misusing them (i.e. taking them for granted). In addition, we will be able to respect the points of view of people who don’t have the same privileges that we do.
Naturally, we have to acknowledge our privileges before we can become consciously grateful for them. That’s why we’re going to discuss four types of veiled privileges that you may have without even realizing it. Hopefully one of them will ring true for you and will give you something tangible to attach your gratitude to.
A Quick Recap of Today’s Common Definition of Privilege
The companion post includes a detailed discussion about the common use of the term privilege, but a quick recap will be helpful before we get into some examples of veiled privileges.
According to the MacMillan Dictionary, privilege is:
1. a special benefit that is available only to a particular person or group
1.a. something nice that you feel lucky to have
Another way to think of a privilege is that it allows you to be seen as normal within a system. The system was designed for people like you. Therefore, you are privileged because you have a greater chance of succeeding within that system.
With these definitions in mind, let’s get into some examples of veiled privileges.
#1 - Religious Privilege
In the United States, being Christian comes with “special benefits” that are “available only to” Christians. Since Christianity is so normalized in our culture, many Christians do not recognize these privileges.
I’ll rattle off just a few:
- Christian holidays are recognized by most businesses and schools.
- It is “normal” for Christians to pray and refer to their God in public.
- God is referenced on our money and in our pledge of allegiance.
- We take oaths with our hand on the Bible.
Yes, I realize this is because the majority of the population is Christian. In fact, according to an article posted by the Pew Research Center on 10.17.19, 84% of American’s born between 1928-45 and 76% of American’s born between 1946-64 identify as Christian. These are the people who built the system that we are currently living in. So, yes, the system is designed primarily for Christians, and Christians are seen as “normal” within it.
However, these are privileges that are not afforded to all religious believers. They are privileges to be grateful for, and my hope in pointing them out is that people will learn to focus more on gratitude and less on condemnation.
#2 - Education Privilege
This one is part of a broader range of privileges referred to as socioeconomic privileges, but I wanted to focus in on this particular one because it seems to be overlooked so often. A quality education is indeed a privilege because it is not available to all kids in the U.S., let alone the world.
I reflect on this quite often because I was privileged enough to receive a quality education. And my kids are getting an amazing education because we are privileged enough to live in a great school district.
A few reasons that I say this are:
- We have highly skilled teachers who really care about their students (for the most part).
- We have one-to-one technology for every student, K-12.
- We have well-kept buildings that are warm and inviting.
- We have many electives for students to choose from.
I had a hard time finding any current statistics to cite here, but I know from talking to teachers and parents from other school districts that these things should not be taken for granted. They are not privileges that are afforded to all students, and my kids are receiving these privileges simply because they were born to upper-middle-class parents.
#3 - Health Insurance Privilege
This is another socioeconomic privilege that I became very aware of last year. My husband was diagnosed with cancer, and along with that diagnosis came some MAJOR medical costs. Did you know that one chemo treatment is almost $20,000! But that’s beside the point (kind of).
He is privileged to have great health insurance through his employer, and I am very grateful for that. His medical bills for 2018 were over $750,000. And how much did we pay out of pocket? I don’t know the exact number, but I know it was 1% or less. Still a good chunk of change but nothing in the scheme of things.
On top of that, he received excellent medical services because he has good insurance. I’m not certain that everyone would have been given the treatment opportunities he was given. Essentially, I’m not certain that everyone would have been given the opportunity to come out of that battle cancer free.
Having gone through that experience, I have a new appreciation for our insurance and a new disgust for the fact that having this benefit is a privilege. When I think about it objectively, why should my husband receive better treatment and suffer less of a financial burden than anyone else? I don’t know the answer, but, again, I am grateful.
A few health insurance privileges that were brought to light for me:
- We don’t have to make treatment decisions based on whether or not we can pay for it.
- We can comfortably cover all of our deductibles and co-pays because they are not onerous, as some are.
- We go to the doctor or hospital when we need to without giving it a second thought.
- We go to our annual checkups because we don’t have to pay for them. Therefore, we are more likely to catch medical problems early.
I understand and acknowledge the fact that not everyone is as fortunate. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2018, 27.5 million people (8.5%) in the U.S. did not have health insurance, and that number rose from 25.6 million in 2017.
But these statistics don’t tell the whole story. We know that being insured doesn’t mean you have adequate coverage. And it doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t have to face a financial hardship if you incurred the kind of medical costs that my husband did.
#4 - Straight Privilege
This is one that I hadn’t given much thought to until I started writing these posts. Of course I realize that people who are not straight face a lot of judgment and have limited rights, but I never thought of being straight as a privilege. My view has definitely changed.
If we go back to the definition, there are benefits to being straight in our society, and they are available only to a particular group. This statement assumes that sexuality isn’t a choice, and that’s because I don’t believe it is. Why? Because it’s not a choice that I ever made. I can remember being naturally attracted to boys at a very young age, at an age when I was too young for it to be a choice. Plus, I didn’t choose to be attracted to my husband or my ex-husband. I was instantly attracted to each of them, and there was no choice involved.
A recent event that brought the reality of straight privilege home for me happened at my step-daughter’s marching band competition. My husband and I were going our separate ways, and as we did, we gave each other a kiss and said, “Love you.” At that moment it clicked in my mind, how privileged I am to be able to do that without even thinking about it.
A few other privileges I am grateful for as a straight female:
- I can hold my husband’s hand in public without getting nasty looks (or worse).
- I could have married my husband in any state that I wanted to.
- If I wanted to adopt a child, my sexuality would not be an issue.
- I don’t have to worry that my kids will be targeted at school because of my sexual preference.
Back to the Whole Point of This Post
I’ve said it quite a few times, but it cannot be said enough. I am grateful for every privilege that I have listed. My hope is that I have unveiled some privileges that you can also be grateful for.
Some of the privileges that I’ve presented are debatable, and some are even controversial. What’s not debatable is the fact that you have a much better chance of living a fulfilling life if you train yourself to practice gratitude. So why not give it a shot?
I didn’t put a worksheet together for this one, but you can reference this worksheet link to get the Deliberate Thinking juices flowing. Why not start practicing right now?
What privileges are you grateful for? Let us know in the comments. No one will have access to your email except me, and you can enter a username if you prefer.
Until next time . . . STAY CURIOUS!
Only Have 1 Minute
Links
30+ Examples of Middle-to-Upper Class Privileges, Sam Killermann, It’s Pronounced Metrosexual
5 Types Of Privilege You Probably Have No Idea You’re Benefiting From, Naria Willis, 5.19.16, elite daily
In U.S., Decline of Christianity Continues at Rapid Pace, 10.17.19, Pew Research Center
Health Insurance Coverage in the United States: 2018, 9.10.19, U.S. Census Bureau
