Exclusive Formula: Assess Your Degree of Self-Actualization

#1 – Honesty – Sense of Humor/Humility

Do you find it easy to laugh at yourself and at the human condition in a jovial way?

For example, you’re in the middle of an important presentation and get completely tongue tied. Do you laugh it off, make a joke of it causing everyone in the room to smile with you, and move on?

#2 – Honesty – Easily relate to the “humanness” of others

Do you find it easy to relate to people who are perceived to be of higher or lower social standing than you? Because you can effortlessly find commonalities to focus on.

Additional considerations:

Do you tend to naturally feel empathy and affection for people more often than judgment and contempt? 

Consider how often you gossip about people, which would indicate that you tend to lean more toward judgment and contempt.

Consider the types of TV shows you watch. Do you prefer to watch shows that highlight people’s vulnerabilities in a relatable way, that focus on fostering empathy (you’d rate closer to a 5) or shows that highlight people’s vulnerabilities in order to scandalize and shame them, to make them seem “beneath” you in some way (you’d rate closer to a 1).

#3 – Honesty – Interpersonal Relationships

When you are attracted to someone, either in a friendly or romantic way, is it more often due to an admiration and appreciation of them, the qualities and virtues they possess, rather than what they have to offer you?

To put the question in perspective, if you were to answer closer to 1 than 5, it would be because you are more likely to be attracted to people who fulfill a basic need of yours. For example, they praise you, shower you with attention, or bend over backwards to make your life easier or better in some way.

Don’t get me wrong, you could score a 5 and still enjoy and appreciate receiving praise, attention, and help, but it would not be the driving force behind your attraction to people. It would be an added benefit.

#4 – Awareness – Efficient Perception

Are you able to come to a good judgment about a person or situation with insufficient evidence? You tend to leap to the right conclusion more often than not. When you try to outline your conclusion to someone else, you get a blank stare. They seem to be clueless and have no idea how you got to that conclusion.

#5 – Awareness – Freshness of Appreciation

Are you able to appreciate the basic goods in life, maybe even with awe and wonder? The joy of a quiet walk in the woods. The beauty of a sunset. The smile of someone you love.

In contrast, if you were to score closer to 1 than 5, it would be because you are always looking for something new, trying to attain the next “best thing,” rather than appreciating the simple things in life. You find yourself comparing your life to others often and trying to maintain a lifestyle based on your perception of someone else’s; the way you think you are supposed to live.

#6 – Awareness – Peak Experiences

Do you find yourself experiencing near-perfect moments, where you somehow feel both more powerful and more helpless than ever before? For example, you are taken over by a song, movie, or performance of some kind. While walking along the beach, you find yourself completely lost in the moment. Or, while looking at someone you love, you find yourself completely enamored with them, so much so that the outside world does not exist for a moment.

Keep in mind that a peak experience is not simply having a moment capture your full attention. It’s also an experience that makes you feel like you learned something in that moment; that it changed you somehow.

#7 – Freedom – Detachment/Objectivity

Are you able to let people “be,” accept them and appreciate them the way that they are? Are you able to see the truth of a person rather than how you want them to be? 

In contrast, if you were to score closer to 1 than 5, you would more often feel a desire to change or reshape people to be the way you think they should be, rather than to appreciate who and what they are.

This doesn’t mean that you don’t offer guidance when necessary (as with a child) or when requested (as with an adult). You can still score a 5 if you do this often, but the guidance would be presented in a way that is meant to lead someone to their own answer or their own realization rather than trying to persuade them to adopt your point of view.

#8 – Freedom – Spontaneity

When in a group situation, are you more likely to act in a natural way,  be authentic? To be whatever you are in the moment and trust yourself to be that way.

Or, in contrast, are you more likely to put up a front, act the way you think you are expected to act?

#9 – Trust – Yourself and Your Mission in Life

Do you feel strongly that your “self” and your “life’s work” are intertwined? You know what you are best suited for, so you know what will bring you the most joy and what will give you the greatest sense of self. You make pursuing that “thing” your life’s mission and give it a great amount of your energy. Your work is a defining characteristic of yourself.

#10 – Trust – Autonomy

Are you dependent on yourself for growth and development? You tend to be your own boss and remain responsible to yourself. You are not tradition bound and are not afraid to go against the grain. You seek input from others, but, in the end, make your own decisions. Once you make a decision, you are not easily influenced by the opinions of others.