Benefits: Identify your leadership style and ways that you can lead by example.
So That You Can: Change your world.
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The World Needs You to Lead by Example
Let’s pretend that we’re John Lennon for a moment and Imagine what the world would look like if we all chose to lead by example.
If we learned to listen before we speak. If we knew how to make people feel safe. If we left our ideologies at the door so that we could see people as individuals.
Maybe you’re thinking, “But I don’t know how to be a leader.” Sure you do! I think we were all born to lead by example, but the world does a pretty good job of convincing us otherwise — that we can’t make a difference, that our vision isn’t important, and that the people we look to as “leaders” are somehow so much better than us.
I received a nice little reminder that we can all lead by example when this quote from Paulo Coelho popped up in my LinkedIn feed the other day:
The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.
This profoundly simple message is one that needs to be spread right now. As I write this, our world is facing a heightened level of social unrest caused by two events that have shattered many of our illusions.
First, the world came to a standstill when COVID-19 was introduced to the masses. And then, world-wide protests, both peaceful and violent, began after the heinous killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
These two events have made something painfully obvious: our world is begging for people to lead by example. But how do we heed this call? We’re going to start today by taking the time to figure out:
- What sets a leader apart from a manager,
- Which leadership styles are available to us, and
- A few effective ways to lead by example.
Anyone Can Be a Leader
You don’t need to have a fancy title on the door of your penthouse office to be a great leader. In fact, you could have the lowliest title in the company, work in the basement of that same office building, and be a better leader than the person sitting on their roost so high above you. Don’t believe me? Then let’s look at a couple of examples.
That person in the penthouse (let’s call him Penthouse Pete) is focused on the company’s goals and public persona, i.e. branding, whether those goals are important to him or not. Pete exerts his control over his legion of managers to make sure the company has good processes and procedures in place to meet its marks and avoid legal or PR trouble. He doesn’t need to focus on gaining the respect of his employees because his title has done that for him. Pete’s not concerned about leading by example, but he is going to guarantee that the status quo is maintained.
While that person in the basement (let’s call her Basement Betty) is more focused on the people she works with and maintaining their morale as they perform their work of sorting the mail. She can see the important role that the mail sorters play, even though many would look at it as the lowliest role in the company. She knows how to speak to people in their language and inspire them to see and work toward her vision of the most efficient mail room around. Betty has gained control and changed her world, not by seeking it out, but through leading by example.
Sure, Penthouse Pete might be a better manager than Basement Betty, but managing requires a different skill set altogether. Although being a manager and being a leader are not mutually exclusive, they’re also not dependent upon each other. You don’t have to be a good manager to be a good leader and vice versa.
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What Are the Differences Here?
Those are great analogies and all, but it’s always helpful to lay out the basics. According to Alex Lyon, a professor of organization communication and strategies, a manger has these four attributes:
- A manager has a control mindset,
- Is focused on the administration of processes and resources,
- Works to maintain the status quo, and
- Is task focused.
By contrast, a leader:
- Utilizes persuasive, rather than controlling, communication
- To move people toward the leader’s vision.
- Which means they have to take risks rather than maintain the status quo,
- And focus more on developing people rather than completing tasks.
Hopefully, you’re starting to see that anyone can be a leader, and maybe you’re finding a spark of leadership in yourself — you’re thinking of something that you believe in enough to risk leading the charge on. So the next logical thing to talk about is . . .
Which Leadership Styles Are Available?
Your leadership style is so ingrained in your personality that you’ll have a hard time spotting it unless you stop and Deliberately Think about it. Yes, you have a natural leadership style, whether you think you do or not.
And there are several other leadership styles that you can adopt through practice. You’ll have to employ more than one style when you lead by example because each one is better suited to certain situations.
Which is why it’s worth taking a minute or two to learn about the six leadership styles outlined by Crash Course Business.
Commanding Leader
- Has a “Do what I tell you” philosophy
- Is forceful, blunt, and straight forward
- Use When: Things need to be done quickly or when someone really isn’t listening
Visionary Leader
- Gives general guidelines and sets broad goals
- Lets people find their own path
- Use When: Leading people who thrive without much direction
Affiliative Leader
- Focuses more on relationships than tasks
- Is accommodating because people come first
- Use When: Leading people who need help finding their motivation and need to feel supported
Democratic Leader
- Wants to know what the group thinks and wants to work toward a consensus
- Builds an environment in which everyone is involved in the decision making
- Use When: Fairness is important to the people you are leading and when the situation doesn’t need to be resolved quickly
Pacesetting Leader
- Has a “Do as I do, and do it now!” philosophy
- Sets highly ambitious goals and standards for themselves and expects others to follow their lead
- Use When: Leading people who are already highly motivated or high achievers
Coaching Leader
- Provides support and advice
- Helps people change and grow on their own
- Use When: Leading people who are not already highly experienced in the task at hand
Does one of these leadership styles speak to you? Either because you can see it in yourself or because you think it is one that you would respond well to.
Which one do you think would work best when leading by example? Can you think of different situations where each one would be the most effective?
If you’re having a hard time answering these questions, you can always fall back on this variation of the Golden Rule, presented by Crash Course Business:
Treat others as you want to be treated — and listen to how they want to be treated because you’re different people.
Now that you have a better understanding of what it means to be a leader, and maybe you’ve even identified your own leadership style, it’s time to drill down on three ways you can lead by example.
Lead by Example - Create a Vision
The first person you need to lead is yourself. Yes, we’ve heard a variation of this adage a million times — the old put your oxygen mask on first analogy — but we’ve heard it a million times for a reason. Because it’s true.
The way you lead yourself is by creating a vision for your life. Start by naming your core values (click here if you need help with that). Then, identify specific areas in your life that you want to improve and develop (click here for help with that). Next, make a decision to take action toward your vision (click here for help with that).
No, creating a vision for your life isn’t going to be easy, but taking these three steps is a good start. And, once you have a vision for your life, you can create a vision for how you will use your natural talents and abilities to serve others.
That’s when you will really start to lead by example; when you have a clear vision of what you want your life to look like and a clear vision of what you want the world to look like. That’s what will inspire others to follow you and support your vision.
Plus, those who follow you will start to create their own visions, and they will start leading by example. That’s pure magic right there — that’s what our world needs.
Lead by Example - Be the Last to Speak
Or, as we say here at The Expectation Gaps, Respect Other Points of View (a component of the Cycle of Deliberate Thinking).
Simon Sinek often talks about the concept of being the last to speak, and he’s cited two benefits of doing so that will help you lead by example.
First, holding your opinion until you’ve listened to other people’s makes people feel like they have been heard. In turn, they feel like they are making a meaningful contribution to the team or cause. And, we tend to be more open to other people’s opinions when we feel that we’ve been heard and that we’re making a difference. So the people you are leading will start following your example and start holding their opinions when they are the ones leading.
Second, you will have the benefit of hearing other people’s opinions before you render your own. And, if you ask the right questions, you will gain an understanding of where those people are coming from; why they have the opinions they do. Meaning, you can tailor your leadership style to meet their needs and effectively lead by example.
Those people whose points of view you have respected will start to respect other points of view and will start leading by example themselves. Again, pure magic and what our world needs.
Lead by Example - Take Accountability
It should go without saying that an effective leader, one who leads by example, has to take accountability for his/her actions. But how many of the people we call “leaders” actually do this? Sure, they take credit for their wins, but how often do they fess up to their losses and screwups?
Taking accountability for our actions can be very difficult, but there’s good news. It’s much easier to do once you’ve identified your core values and created a clear vision for your life. Then you’ll be in the habit of making intentional decisions, and those decisions are going to be ones you aren’t afraid to hold yourself accountable to.
When people see you owning up to your mistakes, they’ll be more likely to own up to their own mistakes. They’ll start making intentional decisions that they have no problem holding themselves accountable to. Once again, pure magic and what our world needs.
What’s Your Next Step?
Now that you know what it takes to lead by example — now that you know the impact leading by example can have on the world — what are you going to do with this knowledge?
Are you going to start changing the world “by your example, not by your opinion”? Are you going to be Penthouse Pete or Basement Betty? Or a combination of both?
Ultimately, the real question is, what’s your vision for the world and what can you do to bring it about? Your vision doesn’t have to change the world; it just has to change your world!
Need a little help to determine your leadership style and identify ways that you can lead by example? Great! Then take advantage of our worksheet that’s designed to do just that.
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Sources & Inspiration
Jordan Peterson: ‘Lead by Example’ to Be Taken Seriously, posted to YouTube by Breitbart News on 12.24.18
On Leadership and Direction | Dr. Jordan Peterson, posted to YouTube by Speakers’ Spotlight on 8.08.17
Leading by Example, posted to YouTube by Communication Coach Alex Lyon on 5.30.17
HOW TO BE A LEADER – Motivational Speech By Simon Sinek, posted to YouTube by Reddot X on 7.13.18
How to Find Your Leadership Style: Crash Course Business – Soft Skills #14, posted to YouTube by CrashCourse on 6.13.19
Management vs Leadership, posted to YouTube by Communication Coach Alex Lyon on 2.11.17
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